What does this mean?

so i think im gay, or atleast bi-curious or gay beacuse i always use gay to j/o and always think about my guy friends when i do it, never girls. but the only girls i thik are attractive are like 20-40 yr olds. for sum reason, like carmen elecktra or the girl in hostel 2 "axel" or bond girls. i find girls my age disgusting and very annoying and unknowledgeable of boys. i think i want to be with a man when i get older too.